Journal 2: My Writing Process
My experience with the drafting process is not the most efficient or the best. I usually start out with writing all my ideas out on paper, in no particular order. I have to just throw all my thoughts on the paper and then make sense of them. If I do not put them all out there I will usually forget them. Then I set that aside, work on something else to take my mind off from the topic. After a little while I come back to the paper with a fresh mind. At this point I feel that I have had the chance to clear my mind. This helps me because with a clear head I can begin to make more sense of what I am trying to express. I begin to put my thoughts into a more sensible order. I look for places that I should write in more detail. I agin set my piece aside. Coming back to it for a third time, I look for ways that I can restructure some of my sentences. When I restructure my sentences I usually write on a separate piece of paper 3 different ways I could reword that particular sentence. Then I read them aloud and chose the one that I think makes the most sense. I try to find the simplest most efficient way I can convey my thoughts. After this I ask someone else around me if they can read my piece. I take their suggestions work my piece some more and ask another person to look at it. I put it aside for a day then I will come back to it and carefully read it over for grammar and punctuation. At this time I read it aloud to myself so that I can actually hear what I have written. I know that my process has room for improvement. I am sure there are ways that I can be more efficient.
September 10, 2018
Journal 3: The Art of Quoting
I found that the process in which you should use to include useful quotes into your writing was very helpful. It was nice because they broke it up into three clear steps: statement introducing the quote, the quote, and the explanation of why you chose that certain quote. The part that the book seemed to stress the most was the explanation following the quote. When you explain the quote you should be explaining it in your own words so that it connects back to the point that you are trying to convey to the reader. Quotes are meant to support your argument and to be used as tools to argue the opposing opinion. It is important that as a writer you make sure that your reader can understand the quote in the same way that you do. I had never thought of making sure the reader understood the quote in the same way as I do. If they do not then it will not make any sense to them as to why you are including it in your writing. Not understanding the quote in the same way you do completely deviates from the point and therefore the paper is no longer effective. In order for an argument to be solid it is important to support if with quotes of others who support it as well as quotes from others who do not support it so that you can write why they are not right. It was mentioned that sometimes a quote is relevant in the beginning of your writing process but as you move through the process and maybe change your way of thinking the quote no longer serves a clear purpose. I think that it is important to make sure that the quotes are relevant throughout the entire piece. This is something that I had not thought of before.
September 12, 2018
Journal 4: The End of Food By: Lizzie Widdicombe
The End of Food by Lizzie Widdicombe is about a food substitute Soylent. Soylent is made up of all the essential vitamins and minerals need to survive. It was originally meant for individuals that do not have time in their day to get healthy meals. Soylent is something that is always there, you do not have to get up and get it. You can have it right on your desk and sip on it all day. Keeping yourself full and focused all day. Another benefit of it is that the calories are counted so you are not over eating. Soylent is good in many ways but not in others.
Lizzie Widdicombe changed my thinking about food substitutes in a few different ways. It is not healthy for our bodies to be without the vitamins and minerals that vegetables and fruits provide. As humans we can still live without those fruits and vegetables but we will not be living life to its maximum potential. Being a new college student looking for healthy food and watching calories is not always easy. I am personally very conscious of what I eat, I fear the weight gain that can come from this lifestyle. She also made me think more about the protein drinks, such as muscle milk. Are those processed supplements really that good for us? Lizzie gave me a lot to think about.
September 12, 2018
Journal #5: Entering the Conversation
After reading They Say, I say I have a better understanding on how to include the opinions and views of others with mine. Whether or not my views and opinions line up with those of others it is still important to include them. It is stated that you want to stand up for what you think but you do not want to be someone who no one can agree with or get along with. It also made sense to me when they stated “that in the real world we don’t make arguments without being provoked.” This makes the writing process seem a little easier now. It seems like it just got a lot less complicated. You’re basically creating arguments for or against someone’s ideas while incorporating your own. By arguing for or against one’s ideas we need to be able to summarize them. Summarizing their ideas in a way that is easy for other people to understand while simply responding with your own ideas is an effective way of communicating different points of view. As writers we are more effective when there are multiple different perspectives involved. The input of others makes our writing deeper and adds an element of contrast to it. We use others views as a way to set up what we are about to talk about.
September 18, 2018
Journal #6 Peer Review (Comments and Feedback)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jA800ipHOrPJx61bJZzluoV2lehL_CGr1W_62jFuuBM/edit
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m4oH0bajJD_W9rDI5oI6ITYy-E-cN5z6Y7UrHSCKYGI/edit
Journal #7 Peer Review Reflection
The best global comment that I received from Thomas and Cameron was that I needed to include a sentence about Soylent in my thesis or last sentence of my introductory paragraph. I had received feedback in SASC that your thesis did not necessarily need to be the last sentence or sentences of your first paragraph. However in my peer group it was brought to my attention that maybe it should be the last sentence(s) in my introductory paragraph. I feel that this really helps me out because it tells me how I can better tie my whole paper together in just a few sentences right off the bat. It is evident that you need to hit the reader with a clear summary of what you will be talking about within the paper right off. On the flip side I think the best global comment that I gave to Cameron and Thomas was that they should think about including more about what meal time means to them in their college and home lives such as: what did it mean in high school and what does it mean now that we are living away from home etc… I think that this is a good global suggestion because it helps personalize their papers more. Some other topics of discussion that came up were simple things such as: MLA format, different ways to word things, and a few questions about commas and punctuation. One thing that I wished we talked more about were quotes. I am nervous about how I wove my quotes into my paper so I wish I got more feedback on if I did an okay job or if I needed to work on introducing them and explaining myself.
October 1, 2018
Journal #8 Starting with What Others Are Saying
In “Starting with What Others Are Saying” it is made clear that in order to have a strong argument you need to have both your ideas combined with the ideas of someone else. To begin you must start out without what other people say about the topic. Once you create a frame with someone elses ideas you can use your own to the mix. The ideas of someone else are meant to support and provide your agrument with structure. However you can not talk for days about what someone else thinks. You introduce what they think and then immediately start in with your own ideas. Making the reader wait for your opinion or argument will only deterr them from reading the rest of your piece to find out what you actually think. This really makes sense. Why would you want to wait to find out what someone thinks, lets just get right to it. After you summarize what other people say about the topic it is vital that you keep their views in sight as your piece goes on. This is also a very valid point because if you do not reference their thinking than what is the point of even saying what they say. And obviously the more complicated you make your piece the harder it will be for the reader to follow along and they will just lose interest.
October 1, 2018
Journal #9: Reflection on Revision
I spent the most time revising my thesis and weaving my quotes into my writing in a efficient way. I spent several tutoring sessions in SASC and time talking with those around me about these issues. The tutoring sessions in SASC were the most helpful and important in this writing process. I always left SASC feeling like I had accomplished something with hopes that my hard work on this piece will show through in my grade. I would change how long it took me to turn to SASC. I wrote four drafts on my own that were just not cutting it. I wasted so much time doing that. The drafting/revising process really is not that different I always have planned out what I would be writing about, spit it all out on the page, leave it for a day, go back to it rework it some more, then have someone else look at it, and so on. It was always a continuous circle and I feel that you never really can be done revising and editing. I approached this project with an open mind. I really had no idea what to expect. This is why I think the time I spent in SASC was so important. I was able to talk with other people who have been in this very same class. By spending time with them I feel that I have a much better handle on what to expect from Jesse and how I can better myself to succeed in this class.
October 3, 2018
Journal #10: Response to Mike Pollan Reading
Page 4, Paragraph 2: “The decline has several causes… and watching it.”
I agree with this paragraph because I feel that the modern cooking shows are geared towards making meal prep and time a lot faster and more efficient than it was “back then”. I feel that cooking was something that everyone always did, especially women. Families were centered around cooking and gathering. Preparing a meal used to take a village. It would take the men in the family to go out and hunt the animals or take care of the cattle. It would take the women and children to farm and help grow the vegetables. Then in the kitchen it would take the women hours to prepare the meals. All of the effort that it takes to prepare these meals by everyone in the family allows for them to bond and become a stronger team. It is mentioned that our culture has been so quick to give up the actual act of cooking. I think that we have no necessarily given up cooking, I think that the idea and meaning behind cooking has shifted.
Page 5, Paragraph 4: “But many of these programs… with a paper towel.”
I think that these cooking shows are aimed at the standard “stay at home mom” however, I feel that the standard of that role and predisposition of it is also shifting. I think that they are striving for perfection in many areas of life like: exercise, cooking, providing etc… These shows show these women how to take shortcuts and and quick stress relief. By providing them with these ideas it allows them to spend more time focusing on exercise and volunteering. I think that there is a lot of pressure around the aspect of volunteering. It is almost like who can volunteer the most and who can be the best at managing a million things instead of just being good at what you are good at. It also different because instead of being happy with who you are and what you provide your family. Only being in college for a few weeks I have realized that the simple life with your family and friends is what means the most to me. I do not need to be this perfect stay at home mom that can do absolutely everything all the time.
Page 7, Paragraph 1: “This probably shouldn’t surprise… by the verb “to cook.”
I could not agree more with this paragraph. I feel that my life is consumed with the fastest way of eating and getting the energy I need. These foods do not make me feel any better. They actually make me feel like crap and I absolutely hate that I have to eat them. It is so hard for find healthy things in the time frame that I have or at the exact time I get out of hockey. At home I am so used to having everything I want right in front of me and being able to prepare things the night before so that it is all ready for me in the morning. The only time that I can find to eat is when I am walking somewhere. As I am walking I am usually shoving a granola bar down my throat and moving on to the next thing. These processed foods are inhibiting us in so many ways. It is very scary to think what it will do to our society.
October 4, 2018
Journal #11: What is motivating the writer?
After reading “What’s motivating the writer?” I now conclude that it is important to read for what is the driving force behind the authors argument. Why are they writing what they are writing? It is important to see through the fluff and find its true relevance. Once we see why they are writing what they are writing, it makes it easier to see why as a reader I should care about it. This personally makes reading easier for me. If I do not know why I am reading what I am or why it is important for me to know, then I do not care about it. If I do not care about it, it just leads to a downward spiral. It was said that we should view literature as a means of conversation. Viewing it as a conversation makes it seem less dense. When we read for the conversation we have to figure out what the argument is the author is responding to and what their own argument is. I sometimes have trouble distinguishing the two arguments. In “They Say/I Say” it is states that as a reader you should look for changes in voice. I struggle with this because it is most of the time not right out in plain sight. It was interesting how they said that as a reader you may have to restate the reading in your own words in order to truly understand what the author is argument is. I had never thought of doing this before however, it is a very valid point. It makes sense that if you can restate it you should be able to pick out what the author is really saying. The one thing that sticks out in my mind from this is that I should read for the conversation. How exactly is the text interacting with itself.
October 8, 2018
Journal #12: Animals Like Us
Page 1, Paragraph 4
“But now she faced… wild rice and raspberry sauce.”
In this paragraph it talks about how Judith is at an inner conflict with herself. She considers herself a vegetarian while her significant other, Joseph does not. Is the effects on their relationship worth arguing over whether or not killing animals for food is morally right? No it is not. Personally I think there is a big difference between pets/animals and human life. I do not think that they should be brutally abused however, human life is invaluable. This particular section talks about how Joseph went on a hunting trip with his friends and came back with a bird that he had killed. He fed it to Judith without her knowing for dinner and she loved it. Once she ate it he told her exactly what it was. From this point on she ate anything with meat in it. Clearly people can change, and go from one extreme to the other. This is just the beginning of Bekoffs discussion about if we have a moral obligation for killing animals for food.
Page 2, Paragraphs 2 and 3
“Then there is Jim Thompson… more than for her.”
In this section Jim is someone who eats meat and has no problems with killing animals for food. After he has worked in a research lab with baby chicks he no longer allows himself to eat meat. He went as far as not allowing himself to wear leather shoes. I personally think that this is very extreme. There needs to be a distinct line between human life and animal life. It is absolutely ridiculous that some people can not distinguish the two. However I am not bias. I have never like animals. I do not wish harm or mistreatment of any animal. I just do not have that connection within myself like other people do. For me Jim and Judith are so far out of my understanding of things that I am having a hard time relating to them. As I said before I believe that there should be a distinct line between human and animal life.
Page 5, Paragraph 2
“The boa constrictor… had become pets.”
This paragraph is mostly about using animals for scientific research. I personally think that this is good. It is better to test things out on animals than it is on people. I am not denying that it can cause them hurt because it can but it in my opinion it is better than a person suffering. Obviously scientists aren’t using animals that are near extinction, they’re using mice and rats. There are plenty of those out there. However this guy, Ron is using cats in his lab, which again plenty of those out there too. He becomes so attached to these cats by the end of his research that he goes to his lab on weekends to let them out of their cages and play with them. They had essentially become his pets. To me I see this as if you are a nurse in the ICU with a very sick patient and become so attached to the individual that when they die you can not cope. Again there needs to be boundaries and lines drawn.
October 29, 2018
Journal 13: Meal Analysis (Paper 2) Reflection
Paper two was a big problem for me. In the beginning I had very hard time figuring out what to write about and how to effectively do so. I have to admit that I had a harder time writing this one than I did the first one. I think part of my problem that my head was still stuck on the first paper that I was no allowing new fresh ideas for the second paper in. I did not have real sense about what I was doing until I had written 3 or 4 drafts. Again it was hard for my mind to separate the first prompt from the second one. I felt that I had already said all I had to say about food, and still do feel that way. I feel like I said the same thing but worded differently. I went to the Student Academic Success Center about a week into having the prompt. Looking back I wish I went the day that it was handed out. However at the same time my brain needed a break. I had just handed in the first paper and I felt like I needed to give myself some space before I could put my best foot forward. That is also how I am feeling right now but, at the same time I am wishing that I could go there right now and begin planning out my last essay. However my head is just at its max and I do not feel like would be a smart decision. I would also change how I originally planned out my essay. I did a horrible job, which I think was why I had to write so many drafts before I could actually do anything with any of them. I am going through the same problem right now which is bad but I am mentally drained. In the end I am pretty happy with how it turned out. I think that I ended up with a decent product.
October 31, 2018
Journal 14: Reconsider the Lobster
My view on Consider the Lobster has no changed since we first interacted with the text back in August. I still believe that as humans we need to have a distinct boundary between empathy for humans and empathy for animals. There is a huge difference between human life and animal life. To me human life is invaluable. Not that I believe we should just willingly kill animals but an animal is an animal. There are plenty of them out there. As humans there is only one of each of us. Something that seems more obvious to me after reading this text again is my opinion on the difference between human life and animal life. I truly believe that this is a distinct boundary between the two. I feel that if we feel guilt for everytime we kill an animal for food that that is an unhealthy way to live life. We can’t constantly feel bad for everything we do to survive, like kill animals to fuel our bodies. As stated before I think there is a definitely a healthy level of consideration that needs to happen. In life there needs to be boundaries and that includes how we feel about animals. We should be considerate of them so they do not go extinct but at the same time we need to live too. In my mind human life is way more valuable than animal life.
November 1, 2018
Journal #15: Against Meat
Without meat Foer has lost many meaningful times with his family. Family is the most important thing in the world. Without being able to have these quality times Foer will miss out on bonds with those people. Now he will not be able to pass these traditions on to his kids or future generations. Some day his grandmother will be gone and he will realize the value of the times he has missed out with his loved ones. Passing on the legacy of those who built your family is so important. To keep them alive, we can use food. Food is stated to be “stories” in Against Meat. These times keep the family values alive. We should never lose sight of where we came from and always give it credit for making us who we are. I believe that we can not hate on something that gave us life. Life is the greatest gift.
That person does not have as strong of a claim because that is abuse that is continuous, physically and mentally. Killing an animal for food can be considered as abuse to some people however I believe that it is not. There is and has to be a distinct line between humans and animals. There is no purpose for rape. Rape cannot be justified. Killing an animal for food can be in my mind. It is food, we have to eat. If we do not eat, we do not survive. And most people probably can not afford all the fancy man made meal replacements. It may be easier and less expensive for them to kill 3 chickens for dinner for the week. We have to think about the reality. We are not going to live forever, the Earth is not going to live forever. We need to be okay with that just as Caitlyn Doughty expressed in her podcast. We have to live and enjoy life while we got it.
November 5, 2018
Journal 16: Anticipate Objections (TS/IS p. 89-91)
This section makes it very clear that it is vital to include the opinions of others. Even if these opinions or views are opposing to your own it shows that you are not some close minded individuals. The views or opinions that are opposing your own are actually way more valuable to you than the ones that are the same as your own. This is because it shows that you have considered the other side of the argument. It is important to show this because it also implies that you are making a well educated argument because you have considered someone else’s point of view. It is also very important to imagine what other people may say or think about your argument. It is one thing to state what someone else has said but what might someone in the future say about your argument. These are just some very important things to do because it helps create a complete argument. If you only have one side of the argument it is like having one side of the story. As always there are two sides to the story and two sides to the argument. We will be more effective in communicating why we are right when using both sides to the argument because it allows you to show why the other side is wrong and you are right.
November 6, 2018
Journal 18: Peer Review Reflection
A few things that I reworked since peer review were: my introduction, conclusion, and forming mini introductions into my quotes. In my rough drafts I found myself just dropping quotes here and there. I would forget that I needed to provide specific background and summarize them after. These instances were in my body paragraphs. As far as my introduction I had to add in some more substance when introducing my sources. I was basically just listing off my sources. After it was brought to my attention I feel that I added them in more gracefully. I tried very hard to strengthen my topic sentences and concluding sentences so that my paragraphs flowed more. I also tried to shorten my quotes so that I was using less quote and being more specific. Then I went after my conclusion. I had to pretty much write a whole conclusion. I barely had anything down for my conclusion and was struggling a bit on exactly how I was going to organize my thoughts while introducing a new idea. I was having a hard time finding an idea that was new and would leave the reader with something to think about as well as having it relate to my topic. In the end I am not sure that I did find something that was very effective.
November 18, 2018
